Take Off, to the Great White North!
As I sat at lunch today I realized that I was eating A&W poutine for the 4th time in a week. (It's delicious!) My coworkers must have noticed too, because they all started talking about how I eat it a lot and still maintain a svelte figure. What's wrong with that? I wrapped up their judgmental conversation by saying "I want poutine for Christmas" in a little kid voice. I can be so silly sometimes.
This got me thinking. I'm so typically Canadian, and here's why.
I eat poutine. At least once a week, if not 4 times a week.
I wear a toque... not a beanie or a skullcap. A toque. On my toque is the logo of my favourite hockey team, the Vancouver Canucks.
I like hockey, and not just my favourite hockey team. I like all of hockey. I'm very excited to see who they pick for the Canadian Olympic Team now that Steve Yzerman AND Mario Lemieux have taken themselves out of consideration. Crosby? Spezza? Staal? Who's it gonna be? These are the conversations I have with other Canadian hockey fans.
I like drinking beer when I watch hockey. I like drinking beer when I don't watch hockey. Canadian beer is much better than American beer. I know this as a fact, because when we were in Disneyland we tried 3 different kinds of beer. They simply don't stack up to a simple bottle of Sleeman's Original Draught.
I use the word "eh" frequently and subconsciously at the end of sentences, usually questions. And if someone else says "eh" I barely even notice. Unless they're making fun of me. Then I drop the gloves and pull their shirt over their heads.
I enjoy snow, and the cold. I don't enjoy BEING cold, but I do enjoy the process of warming up with a girl when I AM cold. Cuddling is the greatest pastime in the world. And if you make fun of me I'll drop the gloves, you see that I don't! Hosers.
I apologize when I've bumped into someone in a crowd. Not profusely, but it's definitely a quick apology as if to say "I'm sorry I couldn't get out of your way more quickly, I didn't mean for us to bump into each other"
I know all the words to over a dozen Tragically Hip songs. Every true Canadian citizen can sing along to at least one or two.
My Dad's name is Gordon. Seriously.
I find the beaver to be a proud and noble animal.
OK, so that last one isn't entirely true. It's partly true, but not entirely. I just get a kick out of saying it sometimes because it was in a beer commercial once. A CANADIAN beer commercial.
25 comments:
oh goodness... i love this post and minty mints are the best.
you are so canadian, maple syrup must run through your veins.
funniest post ever!!! you're so tall mikeh.
i have seen you in action with that toque of yours at the Vancouver Giants game and it is truly Canadian.
damn you for your svelte figure. cranberry is envious!
finally, cuddling? damn. no comment. i usually kick 'em out before that stage.
Ok dude I believe you with the height thing now. Thanks for clearing that matter up lol.
There is nothing wrong with being Canadian for sure. And I absolutely know what you mean about US beers, geesh it tastes like sewage water!
Gordon is a very common Scottish name, I wouldn't have associated it as being a typically Canadian name but I guess I know a little better now :)
If I ever make it over to Canada again I'm going to try that poutine thing, what it is???
as in gordon lightfoot? teehee
This was an interesting read. I once wrote a paper about Canadians in College, I got an A :) or as you all say it EH.
You mean they have the olympics in the winter too? haha jk. I have seen Seahag eat Poutine and I still haven't a clue as to what it is but it looked nasty sorry.
Oh yeah! I am having a hard time hating Toronto now that Gene Keady is on the bench for the Raptors
TGP - OMG, I can't believe I forgot to mention that I cook with Maple Syrup! Seriously, I mix a little bit in to teryaki sauce so that it doesn't taste so salty.
Cranberry - You kick 'em out before cuddling? That's the best part!
Stephanie - Shipping it would be gross. It's only good on the day of preparation. But you should definitely come to Canada to try it.
Phats - Toronto Sucks. You're allowed to like the Raptors, but you still have to hate the Maple Leafs.
All you Americans - Poutine is fries, gravy and cheese. The cheese melts a bit, and it tastes marvelous.
A&W sells poutine - no way! bizzaro!
mmmmm.....root beer.
and for the record, a few people are allowed to cuddle.
Hmm I would try it for you guys but I am fresh out of poutine damn it!
damn you...bragging about poutine...
oh, wait! cher sent me some poutine powder!!! woo hoo!
Stephanie are you kidding??? Canada thinks they are one of the 50 states, screw alaska according to them! hahaha! I am sorry would never move to Canada too damn cold, and I don't like hockey.
However maybe Alec Baldwin will threaten to move there again.
here i was gonna suggest we make phats and nutty honorary canadians... but i think not now. you dear sir should be happy we are so polite and that we can't get together in large groups to plot against you (the body heat melts our igloos).
Actually I only insult the ones I like! I am so a fan of Canada now because it produced kick ass people, like Mike, TGP, Cranberry, and Cher!
ah yes, if not for us, canadians would be a culture you tried to avoid like the plague or potato famine... or something like that.
but your little city is still colder than mine. sucker.
I LOVED THAT COMMERCIAL!!
i, on the other hand, am not so easily convinced about the height thing. you could have like tiny little legs. so you are really only 5"4.
I LOVE poutine!
Cranberry - The record has been updated.
Joe's Cheese - Mmmmm. Sleeman's. Mmmmm. Syrup.
Seahag - Sorry for being so bragadocious. But I do believe you had an award winning blog series on Poutine if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, no awards here. Just bragging rights.
Stephanie - Milk? We usually get the 4L jugs in my house. And they only last a week at best. Maybe that's why I'm so tall? Milk, does a body good.
Phats - Am I going to have to drop the gloves on you? Canada is only cold in the middle provinces. Here on the 'Wet Coast' we enjoy a very mild winter. Not the snowy ones you enjoy.
TGP - Always put Phats in his place. Always.
Cher - I think somebody is a little jealous of my height! Or bitter about not getting enough letters. Don't worry, I'll make things right. I promise.
Anika - Ummm, so do I. That's why I posted about it. I mean, Canadian Girls Kick Ass!
I have NEVER had poutine, I saw it on Seahags blog a while back...I might try it, but without the gravy and cheese :)
No No I changed my mind I like Canada now because you, and your friends live there :)
i think phats has a crush on canada.
word verif.: uovigimc
what the hell.... thats the weirdest and yet it reminds me of something and i can't place it.
"Or bitter about not getting enough letters."
enough letters? enough??? try ONE friggin letter! now i'm all worked up. i'm going to go eat.
Hey I didn't get a letter! what gives big mike?
i can't believe you added "i'm 6'2" " to your profile.
you rule mikeh!
oh, ahh, well, i do mean excluding your first letter.
Mike must be too busy making out with some girl to answer our comments! geesh! Well, I hope you're making out with some girl and if that is the case ^5 buddy! GO CANADA!
Superspygal - Just fries, huh? How adventurous of you.
Cher - I TOLD you. I'm going to make up for it. And you'll be very appreciative. I promise.
Phats - I'll write you a letter, but first I need some of your details. Like your name. That's right, I'm bargaining.
Oh, and I'm not making out with any girls, you Hoser. Part One is willing and able, but Part Two is finding a Part Two, who is willing and able.
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