Friday, November 18, 2005

To Blank with love...

To Craig Kilborn with love,
Late night television just hasn’t been the same since you left. Now all we have of you is that jerky character in Old School. Glad to see you’re in a new movie, as… wait… another jerky character? Proud of you Kilby, don’t ever change.



To my Pen Gals with love,
It may take me a while to send you letters, but I write when I have the time and I’ll always make time for you, baby. Right after the hockey game is over, and if you’re up anyways could you grab me another beer from the fridge? Hugs and kisses from Canada!


To The Cheat with love,
Before you arrived on my doorstep I had nothing to punch, so I bottled it all inside of me. Now that you’re here, I can punch you a million times over and you still come back for more. What’s that? Giving me more sass again? You’re getting a punch, and maybe even a kick if you’re lucky.


To TV shows on DVD with love,
Where would I be if I didn’t have the first season of Fraggles, Muppets, Simpsons, Futurama, Samurai Jack, Gargoyles, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Lost, Arrested Development, Batman the Animated Series, Superman the Animated Series, Family Guy, He-man, and Invader Zim on DVD? I’d probably have a lot more money and a much more fulfilling life. Maybe I should join a book club or something. My pupils are going to become square shaped soon.


To Gareth with love,
We abuse you because you’re so far away and therefore we fear no reprisals. It’s all in good fun buddy, we don’t really believe all the mean things we say. In some secret, messed up way, we’re mad that you’re not on the same continent as us. Because all we Canadians really want is Lucky Charms, there’s a rumour going around that they’re magically delicious. You silly little Leprechaun.


To all the Bloggers who read this with love,
I blog for YOU, and I read everyone’s new posts regularly. Actually, who am I kidding? I blog for myself, and if nobody leaves a comment I feel like I’ve wasted my time. So please everybloggy, leave as many comments as you want! Ask me anything! Please?!

Your Pal, Mike H
Proud

29 comments:

Clive Dangerously said...

This was an EXCELLENT post.


Buy some crap I'm subtley advertising for.

Signed, some kid.

cher said...

mike, i wrote you back, but i forgot to mail it today. i'm sorry, now it will have to wait until monday. rats.

Mike H said...

Clive - Well hello there kid. Welcome to my blog. I'm not buying or selling anything. Thanks for the comment though.

Cher - So what you're saying is, I'm going to have a very happy Tuesday/Wednesday?
Monday? Rats? Boomtown Rats - I Don't Like Mondays. "And he can see no reasons/because there are no reasons/what reason do you need to be shown?"
Whoa, way off topic.

Pockey said...

when do i get my letter?? hmmmm

cranberry said...

pockey hun, i'm feeling that.

Phats said...

I loved this entry! you rock big comet man. Fraggle Rock, I love the fraggles they are awesome, and don't feel bad Gareth has thick skin he told nutty that anyway.

So any question we ask you'll answer?
Hmm will the Canucks win the stanley cup in 05/06?

Phats said...

Damn, I just asked my magic 8ball that same question and it said "outlook not good" I hope your answer is better

Design Goddess said...

I'm just leaving a comment so you don't feel like your time was wasted. :)

Gareth said...

Dude I'm really offended now. Seriously. You didn't ask my permission to use my pic. Everyone else has requested my permission to use it (you may already have seen that being mentioned on a few blogs!)

notjoecheese said...

Ahh, TV on DVD. No commercials and there's no waiting a week for the next one. Beautiful.

that girl possessed said...

to mike h with love,

your blog makes me giggle myself stupid and have warm and fuzzy feelings in my tummy. even if gareth bitches about you. i know your tummy may hurt when we are together, but it's only out of kindness i do these things. i mailed your letter on thursday big guy, want a soda?

-tgp bojangles

Phats said...

BTW
Craig Kilborn Rocks and needs to come back to late night tv totally agree

Mike H said...

Pockey and Cranberry - You both have MY address, where's MY letter huh? It's a two way street ladies. Now get to writing.

Phats - Thanks. As for the Canucks, it's way too early to tell. Get back to me in the new year, then I'll have my answer for you.

Phats (again) - Magic Eight Ball? Is that how you predict your Purdue outcomes? Secrets revealed.

Design Goddess - Thank you and thanks for stopping by!

Gareth - I tried to make things right, and instead you find something else to be mad at me about. It's your profile pic. It's there for everyone to see, isn't it? I didn't know we had to ask for permission to use a picture that is accessible from any PC with an internet connection. It's not like I modified it in any way. I should just leave well enough alone. I'm sorry I tried to apologize. I'll leave you alone now, I guess.

Notjoecheese - I agree. It's the best invention ever!

TGP - I knew you'd like it. What the H am I supposed to do about Gareth? I think he's really mad at me now. My best intentions always seem to turn out bad. Kind of makes a guy just want to give up on this whole "nice" thing. But it's all I know. Ho hum. I need some Bojangles right now.

Phats (3rd time) - Yes, Craig Ferguson is very sucky. But I'm serious about Craig Kilborn's latest movie role. He's in 'The Benchwarmers' and it looks like he plays another jerk. Classic Kilby.

Gareth said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA Mike you fell for it dude. I was just serving you up some of your own medicine, lolol.
What I really wanted to say (and you can ask Phats about this because I was IMing him at the time that I sent the message) was that this was a totally awesome post dude, no worries. And I loved my pic being used and the Lucky Charms things.
Sorry but it was all just a laugh. YOU ARE THE MAN!

that girl possessed said...

oh how the tides have turned mister gareth, oh how the tides have turned.

bojangles is on the island mike, we will converse soon.

Steph said...

tear...

Your letter is going in the mail on Monday too!

ATHF, number 1 in da hood, G!

Mike H said...

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on ME.

I'm SO not falling for that again. Stupid naive Mike H.

The Future said...

I agree Gareth is the shit, or is that a shit. I 'll go with is the shit

Mike H said...

Future - I'm gonna have to say both right now. But I was just recently duped by him, so I'm allowed, right?

SuperSpyGal said...

*whew* I actually thought this was for real.....grrrrrrr...."BOYS, GO TO YOUR ROOMS - NO DINNER OR TV !"

Mike H said...

I thought it was for real too. That's why I was all apologetic. How about me, huh? Apologizing for my apology.

...wait, No TV? No Dinner? Aw man. Now see what you got us Gareth? A Superspygal punishment. And there's a hockey game on today and everything!

Gareth said...

Spy if we offer to clean the dishes and tidy our rooms will you let us go to the game please. We promise we will be on our best behaviour unless someone deliberately tries to insult us. We cannot be held accountable for what might happen after that. So can we go, huh, huh?

SuperSpyGal said...

Well....just this once....but if any fights break out, it better be between the hockey players and NOT the two of you.....now go to the game, and bring me back a hockey player (preferably with all his teeth) ;-)

Phats said...

hmm a fight between between Gareth and Mike H, who would win that fight? haha! maybe we should take bets.

Mike H said...

Um, Phats? Didn't you read my comment on Nutty's biggest fear post? I'm totally afraid of confrontation. This means fights and arguments, real or otherwise.

A fight between Gareth and me would start with me running away and Gareth chasing me. It would probably end with Gareth finding my hiding place and punching me once in the arm before giving up. Because nobody likes to hit a guy with glasses, especially ones that are broken, right?

SuperSpyGal said...

No no no....I don't want to see anyone fight....now just give each other a big hug ..no, wait...I dont want to see that either..

Phats said...

Aww Mike we in bloggerland would protect you, we like you MUCH MUCH better then Gareth just don't tell him hahaha :) Sorry I missed that post on nutty's d'oh! I think fighting is wrong anyway solve it words eh?

Gareth said...

Phats it's already solved. Mike is a cool guy no worries.

cher said...

hey mike, i ended up getting the letter in the mail just before 5 on friday, so you never know! keep your fingers crossed. it just may be a good monday after all!!