New Year's Eve '05 = Hockey Day

Canada lost to Russia in the Spengler Cup. Boo.
BUT
Canada beat USA in the World Junior's. Hooray!

Vancouver Canucks lost to the Minnesota Wild. Boo.
BUT
Calgary Flames and Edmonton Oilers play, and they have such a fierce rivalry it's going to be an entertaining game.

It's a great-ish day to be Canadian!

Happy New Year's Everybody!

Vancouver Island is the place to be tonight. But I'll be hanging out with Miss K and all her friends. Movies and Scattergories, here I come!

I guess I took a week off

I haven't blogged for a while, because I haven't made the time to blog. I've checked other blogs though, and left the odd comment, but I just can't find the energy or creativity to blog about anything.

Christmas Day was uneventful. We had an impromptu party at our house on Christmas Eve. That was fun.

New Year's is still coming together slowly. Looks like we're Island bound!

Miss K doesn't ever call me back. I think I've been given the brush off. Time for me to move on.

I'm going to 2 more World Junior Games the next few weeks (I've been to one already). Go Canada. But now I need somebody to go with because Miss K isn't likely to get back to me about coming to them. Girls can be sooo frustrating.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner...

Jesus is the reason for the season.

Christmas is coming and I'M NOT READY!

I need more time! I've got too much to do! I barely have the time to post this!

But I am looking forward to "Winter Fun Day 2005" on Dec 22nd. Which will coincide with the "Mike H and TGP Gift Exchange 2005". The exchange has slowly become a tradition. We just made the fun day thing up because we always have fun when we hang out.

I hope Melvin can make it.

Saturday Night Checklist

Granville Island Brewing Lions Winter Ale is like, the best tasting beer I've ever had. But they only bring it out every Winter, so it's a seasonal treat.

Canucks lost a game they should have won.

I really don't want to work tomorrow... but I have an Ironman streak going right now. Only 2 sick days in over a year; before that it was none for 2 years. Compared to everyone else I work with, I'm Mr. Dependability.

Christmas is officially stressing me out. I still have gifts to buy, but I don't know what to get. I still have letters to write, but I can't seem to find the time to write them.

I'm too responsible for my own good.

"When you do things right, people won't notice you've done anything at all" - God to Bender, Futurama
...story of my freaking life.

Was it a date? I don't know...

I've completely forgotten about all the bad news this week, because it's finishing strong.

The Canucks won twice on the road against some really good teams. New York, #1 in their division, and Philadelphia.
Joe's Cheese, I'm not questioning Auld anymore after a standup preformance against Philadelphia. He faced 20 shots in the 3rd Period and only gave up 1 goal? That's amazing. I'm willing to let his Colorado games just be a bad memory, and not a skill indicator.

As well as the Canucks winning, I got to go see 'King Kong' with Miss K! It was awesome! The whole evening was awesome.
The movie itself was very good. It's no 'Narnia', but I still enjoyed myself. I kept laughing through the jungle parts, because it was all so ridiculous. Just when you think it's pretty cool, Jackson hits you with something else that's freakin' wicked. (I don't want to reveal too much.) I'd recommend everyone go see 'Kong', if you don't mind sitting for 3 hours.

We had a guy sitting behind us that was the highlight of the movie though. He was alone, and had obviously just gotten off work to come see this movie. He was wearing a nice traffic vest, some coveralls, and work boots. All through the movie he was saying funny random things, loudly, and I think he expected us to answer him? We didn't, we just laughed. Some of his quotes throughout the movie, there were more, these were my favourites:

"Is that Spencer Tracey?" I just looked this guy up. He died in 1967.
"Uh oh, here comes the T-Rex"
"It's not her!"
"...(singing) bluebird, (after realizing he sang the wrong lyric)... oh it's blackbird!"

It was very hard not to laugh at all this. Miss K and I both agreed that I had to blog about this guy. He was hilarious.

Then we enjoyed a quick dinner at White Spot, (you remember the place TGP likes to steal mints from?) and headed to the place where all the cool kids hang out. Joey's House.

These 4 guys were fun, I mean, they're the cool kids so obviously they'd be fun. They were all Miss K's friends and they all seemed to like me. But I mean, who doesn't like me? You've got to have a grudge against nice people if you don't like me. Nearly everybody likes me. And if they don't, oh well. I like me.
Right, back to the story. I liked "hanging" with these guys, because they're so funny. I don't really have a group of guys like this that hang out, play video games and fooseball, and drink beer. They're all really good friends and it's obvious.

I also would like to re-iterate here that I still really like Miss K. She told me she was nervous that things would be awkward, and was happy that they weren't. Hopefully things keep going well. But she reads this (Hi Miss K!), so I don't think I'll be revealing too many details. She knows I like her though, so it's all good I continually remind you of that.

You know, in case you forgot.

Frustrated, incorporated.

"The whole f***ing world's against us dude, I swear to God." - Jay, Dogma


Worst News Week, EVER!

I found this article while on a break at work. It's quite possibly the worst thing I have read this week.

I mean, replacing Christopher Robin? What the H?

This is right up there with redoing the Looney Tunes into some X-treme crime fighting superhero team. Which they've done, by the way.

Why can't people just leave well enough alone? Winnie the Pooh is doing just fine, as far as I can tell. I just watched the movie (again) tonight, and it would totally suck if they phased out Christopher Robin.

Not that I'm against the fact that they're introducing a new character. That doesn't matter so much as the fact that they're virtually eliminating the sole reason for Pooh's existence. It's all for the boy. Doesn't anybody realize that?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One more thing. The Vancouver Canucks have now lost their #1 goalie, Dan Cloutier, to knee surgery that will have him out for the entire season.
You know that Canucks Stanley Cup prediction Phats? I just downgraded it from a real possibility of them going all the way, to just barely making the playoffs. I guess we'll have to see how backup Alex Auld is going to fare during the next 6 home games. Then we'll see if they have a shot.

Anybody else have more bad news they want to tell me? It's only midweek, so you still have a few more days to break it to me.

It's okay, I can take it.

Take Off, to the Great White North!

As I sat at lunch today I realized that I was eating A&W poutine for the 4th time in a week. (It's delicious!) My coworkers must have noticed too, because they all started talking about how I eat it a lot and still maintain a svelte figure. What's wrong with that? I wrapped up their judgmental conversation by saying "I want poutine for Christmas" in a little kid voice. I can be so silly sometimes.

This got me thinking. I'm so typically Canadian, and here's why.

I eat poutine. At least once a week, if not 4 times a week.

I wear a toque... not a beanie or a skullcap. A toque. On my toque is the logo of my favourite hockey team, the Vancouver Canucks.

I like hockey, and not just my favourite hockey team. I like all of hockey. I'm very excited to see who they pick for the Canadian Olympic Team now that Steve Yzerman AND Mario Lemieux have taken themselves out of consideration. Crosby? Spezza? Staal? Who's it gonna be? These are the conversations I have with other Canadian hockey fans.

I like drinking beer when I watch hockey. I like drinking beer when I don't watch hockey. Canadian beer is much better than American beer. I know this as a fact, because when we were in Disneyland we tried 3 different kinds of beer. They simply don't stack up to a simple bottle of Sleeman's Original Draught.

I use the word "eh" frequently and subconsciously at the end of sentences, usually questions. And if someone else says "eh" I barely even notice. Unless they're making fun of me. Then I drop the gloves and pull their shirt over their heads.

I enjoy snow, and the cold. I don't enjoy BEING cold, but I do enjoy the process of warming up with a girl when I AM cold. Cuddling is the greatest pastime in the world. And if you make fun of me I'll drop the gloves, you see that I don't! Hosers.

I apologize when I've bumped into someone in a crowd. Not profusely, but it's definitely a quick apology as if to say "I'm sorry I couldn't get out of your way more quickly, I didn't mean for us to bump into each other"

I know all the words to over a dozen Tragically Hip songs. Every true Canadian citizen can sing along to at least one or two.

My Dad's name is Gordon. Seriously.

I find the beaver to be a proud and noble animal.

OK, so that last one isn't entirely true. It's partly true, but not entirely. I just get a kick out of saying it sometimes because it was in a beer commercial once. A CANADIAN beer commercial.

PS - I am tall. Here's picture proof. And TGP likes to steal mints from White Spot. Here's picture proof.

Optimus Mike is back, baby! And better than ever!

Alright, I'm back.

Today was an extremely productive day for me.

1- I finished editing and formatting the family Christmas letter for my Mom. Now all she has to do is mail it off to everybody.

2- I helped out at the After School Program at the Church my Mom goes to. It was interesting. I was basically there for crowd control. But since there were only 7 kids. I thought, How badly can I be needed for crowd control with only 7 kids? It turns out a lot. There's this one boy who purposely tries to push every limit put in place. He hits, he's insolent, he's cheeky, and he doesn't listen when anyone tells him not to do those things. At first I thought he was autistic. I had the opportunity to sit in the dreaded "Time Out" with him and we came to an agreement. "Time Out" is really boring, so anytime he gets close to getting there, I was going to tell him to 'be cool' and he'd try and stop. Of course, this worked for about 30mins, and then it was back to the insolence. At least he stopped hitting the other kids. My Mom was just really impressed that I had most of the kids listening to me. Normally they don't listen to anyone, and I had them lining up single file barking orders at them like I was a drill sargeant. I wasn't going to take any guff!
We got to play in this wicked cool maze for part of the afternoon. It took up a whole room and was made of wood about 4 feet high. It was covered on top with tarplike black material, and inside were Christmas lights so the kids could see. Honestly, I think it was the coolest homemade maze I ever experienced for free. (But I had to crouch the whole time, and now my quads are a little sore.)

3- I watched the new Chronicles of Narnia movie. It's rad. I loved it. I'm probably going to have to see it again. Centaurs are probably, like, the coolest thing ever! And so are animal battle scenes. At least now I know which animals are evil and which animals are good. This movie is Lord of the Rings Jr. I hope they make sequels.

4- We had a bunch of work people over to watch the Vancouver Canucks vs Ottawa Senators game. It was an intense game. I loved every minute of it. We won in the first round of Sudden Death Shootout. Canucks rule.

Based on all these things, and what happened yesterday (oooo mysterious!), I can unequivocally say that I feel like the cool, well-rounded, self-assured Mike H of the good times again. Top shelf Mike H is back to play again.

Watch out Blogosphere. You ain't seen nothing yet!

I'm only 6'2". That's not tall is it?

I had a fabulous time last night with Cran, as she refers to herself. It was an excellent day too, so let me start at the beginning.

Yesterday morning was as boring as any other. I woke up, blogged a bit, checked out the X3 teaser trailer for the 5th time and had some lunch.

Then, when my sister's boyfriend came home we got to doing some errands. We hadn't been to the bottle depot since the summer, so we had accumulated quite a collection of beer and pop cans and bottles. After all was said and done and the money collected, we were up $22.03. That's a lot of beer people. I know there are probably those out there with a better story, with a higher amount returned. But for me this was a lot.

After the bottle depot, we went to my Mom's house to pick up an old coffee table she'd like us to take off her hands. This meant, she didn't want it anymore, get it out of her house and burn it. Well, a coffee table doesn't fit into a fireplace all that easily, so we had to smash it. Oh and smash it we did. You know how I said that playing X-men Legends was good for getting out aggression? Smashing up a coffee table is even better. I'm totally aggression free. Seriously. The Cheat is beginning to worry I don't love him as much anymore.

A quick dinner in my tummy and I was off to Vancouver to meet Cran for the game. Now, getting out of Maple Ridge at 5:30pm proved to be more difficult than one might expect. There is only one bridge out of the place, and at 4pm they put counterflow in so only one lane can be used to leave. It took me 30mins to leave Maple Ridge, and 20mins to get to Vancouver. The traffic didn't bother me much because I was going karaoke style on my tunes in the car. But I would have liked to have spent more time before the game chatting with Cranberry. She's way cool.

In between the first and second period, they have little kids come out and play a little hockey game for the fans. I can honestly agree with Cran when she says that these kids got more cheers than the big kids. They were too cute for words, so here's a pic.

They all were just barely able to skate, and everything was very much in slow motion. The best part was when the one team scored, and when the little kid was celebrating his goal he fell over. Oh so cute!

Of course, when I drove Cranberry home I also got to see the Rainbow Palace. It truly lives up to its name. That's right, I know the secret location of the RAINBOW Palace! Taking back the 'bow!

Now, I've got a backlog of letters to write.

Cher - Apparently you didn't read my last post about my hellish week. And the fact that I'm sick. I find I sound too whiny when I write letters while in a poopy mood, so that's why your mailbox is lonely. But don't worry, I'm writing a Christmas letter this year, so you shan't be disappointed.

Mike H Update

Wow, I've been told I need to update. I didn't know you needed to see new things so frequently Cranberry!

After looking at the last few posts I realize that I haven't really been tracking the new business in my life. It's all just been fun stuff to look at.

I just finished one of the most hellish work weeks since the last time I did overtime. My regular Team Leader, Mstile, was away in Cancun on an all expenses paid trip. I guess there's no one else who can fill in for him but me (I asked), so I had to be TL for 8 days. Yuck. I even told my Supervisors that I didn't like it, but they still made me do it anyways. At least my December cheque will be bigger than it normally is.
I worked so hard over the last few weeks that my health began to suffer a little bit. I'm a bit under the weather. Not debilitating-lie-in-bed-all-day-wishing-I-was-dead sick. More like, sore-throat-sound-sexy-on-the-phone-don't-kiss-anyone-I-overworked-myself sick. There's a big difference.

My sister's boyfriend and I have discovered a new obsession, and a new way in which to "hang out". X-men Legends 2, the video game. Now, I'm not a gamer nor have I ever been a gamer. It was a major ruination point for my last relationship so I usually steer clear of playing them too much. But this game is really fun for me.
It may be my nerdlike knowledge of the X-men characters and storylines. It may be that I've needed an outlet for my pent up aggression that kicking The Cheat just wasn't providing. But I love playing this game, being Wolverine, and beating on the bad guys. It's totally unlike me to be so into a video game. That's why it's newsworthy.

Cranberry invited me to a WHL game tonight. I'm stoked. The Canucks don't play until Friday and that's a very long time to go without a Canuck game. So I'll get my hockey where I can. And tonight, it's by invite only with DJ Cranberry. I've been to a few Vancouver Giants games last season, when there was no NHL. But it was always with my family. I think that tonight will be much more worthwhile. Because the tickets were free.

Everything feels better when it's free.

Letters are my anti-drug

OK, as promised, here are a few of the many awesome things I have received by writing to people.
A colouring book page? Coloured to the exact specifications of a gay robot? This is seriously cool. Who would have ever thought a robot could be gay? I know I didn't, until I got this in the mail. And my whole perception of robots was turned upside down! But then again, just because I like rainbows doesn't mean I'm gay. Straight people gotta take back the 'bow sometimes! Seriously though, this robot is definitely gay.

This is the postcard that cranberry sent to me. It's ridiculous. I wonder what happened 2 seconds after this picture was taken? My theory is, mayhem of course.

This is a cheating a bit. I didn't actually receive this in a letter. It is a little comic that my friends drew. We were up at good ol' University, um, studying, yes that's it. They bet me whatever they had in their pockets that I wouldn't put on my new scarf, some crazy goggles one of them had for some reason and fly up and down the hall like a fighter pilot. I even made airplane noises, and pretended to drop bombs! (For some reason they thought I was a helicopter. Silly girls!) I ended up with $1.87. But it was worth it, because as I dive bombed the other table in the area, we started talking to them more, and it inevitably wound up with TGP and I becoming friends.

And the finale, from the best letter I've ever received, from fellow BC blogger Cher. This is just the bottom of one page, but it's mostly all like this. A motorcycle and flames! That's awesome. Nobody has topped this. At least, not yet.

There was an article in the paper today about some stationary store having a BC Letter Writing Club. I felt so trendy. It was like, I'm not alone in the Snail Mail Revival! There are others taking up the cause.

Letters are the Greatest!

Stupid tags. I usually rip 'em right out!

Ok, I was tagged by TGP to do this silly thing that seems to be circling around blogs like the 24 hour flu.

Here goes:
Mike H needs to step up and do what he knows in his heart is right
Mike H needs a life outside of his television
Mike H needs some cheese for his whine
Mike H needs to go
Mike H needs you as a catalyst
Mike H needs help
Mike H needs a copy ofthe insurance rider for CCRCNA
Mike H needs to clean his ears

Ouch, that wasn't fun at all. I'm using that googlism thing that TGP used:
mike h is back in the us
mike h is the man
mike h is drawing portraits
mike h is attributing to the anti
mike h is producing
mike h is that he's one of the few people who actually does what he says he is going to do
mike h is his name
mike h is the all american guy
mike h is the bestest
mike h is on an imac
mike h is a dork
mike h is doing a windows ide for div2dos
mike h is helping someone by pushing their wheelchair
mike h is concerned
mike h is there and am i coming over? so i went and watched videos
mike h is now known as mike
mike h is obfuscating again
mike h is probably right
mike h is 100% correct about "let's hang on"
mike h is of course right
mike h is replying to this message

Ah, much better. Now I feel happier about who I am, rather than what I need. Mike H needs to stop being tagged is what Mike H needs.

Now shoo, all you taggers, shoo! No more tagging for today!

It's all just STUFF!

I never knew that Pez Dispensers were so cool to everybody. Are you guys being serious, or just laying it on thick so that I will reveal more for you to make fun of?

Do you seriously need a full list of everything? I started one for the loosies, but it's beginning to get very tedious for me to list them all. But I'm a pleaser, if a list is what people want, then I'll give you a list of everything I have.
I don't think a list does it justice though. To fully appreciate the Pez Collection in all it's majesty you have to see it for yourself. I'll work on a huge picture post.

Here's the story on my Pez Collection. I've had it since Grade 12 (1999), I haven't added to it in a few years because my priorities have changed. I'd like to move out of my sister's place ONE day! But here's the rub. I still love it. If I keep them out of sight in these bins, under my bed, the temptation won't be there to buy more. But I occasionally see the new ones come out in the grocery store. They have Madagascar ones, new Star Wars ones, Sesame Street ones, Bob the Builder ones, oh man, the list just goes on for the ones that I don't have.
It's ridiculous, I should really try growing up for a change and stop holding on to all this STUFF.

I have too much STUFF.

By Request

Here's just a little taste of how big a nerd I am. I have another 2 bins like this. I'll work on a list, this is just to whet appetites.

* * * Bigger nerdiness to follow. * * *

Wedding Crashers, sort of.

If you've already visited TGP's blog you'll already have an idea of what I'm going to blog about. Here are my highlights.

On the way out there TGP and I didn't truly get going on the giggles until after we had driven by the ocean. There must be something in the air. Pockey just sat in the backseat and got a little worried about us.

Immediately upon arriving I was called out for being part Asian, which I am. It's just very surprising when I was just being introduced to someone and they immediately spot the 1/4 Chinese in me. I think Ken has a crush on me now. But it still didn't stop him from trying to mack a little on the bridesmaids next door.

When the bridesmaids next door danced in, it felt like the party we crashed had won some kind of Coolness Prize. That's when I knew, we were the cool kids and everyone wanted to hang out with us.

If I get really drunk, I dance like a maniac... on the floor. With only 2 beers I was only able to pull out the Running Man, the Elaine (from Seinfeld), and one that I haven't found a suitable name for. It's where the feet run in one spot to the beat of the song, but the upper body does the running in slow motion. (TGP is a big fan.) Other than that I just did the standard guy dance moves. It takes way more than a few beer to unleash the true dancing machine Mike H. Look out New Year's!!

Miss K was looking smashing as always. Which means, she was smashed, but still managed to look as gorgeous as ever. So why couldn't I just ask her to dance with me? I don't know why, I just became paralyzed everytime I thought about it. I'm not ready to get myself out there yet. But that doesn't mean I don't like being in the same room with her. Any Miss K contact and I'm a happy camper. I'm being very literal when I say I have a little boy crush on her.
The all time Highlight of the night was when we were leaving, and I apologized for not asking her to dance, she hugged me not once, but three separate times. And she said she liked me and that we all need to hang out more. Hello Movie Night!

A blog a day keeps the Ho Hums away!

I've got nothing in particular to Blog about. Just some random stories of my day.

Big Sports News of the Day (for me anyways)
Canucks beat San Jose 3-2, although they were really given the game by the Ref. He allowed a goal for Vancouver that probably should have been disallowed, and didn't count a goal that most definitely was a goal for San Jose. Those Canucks got away with one there. They're very lucky.

What Else Is New?
We're very shorthanded at work on my shift, and yours truly gets to be in charge of it all. The regular Team Leader, Mstile, is on a trip to Cancun for 18 days. Lucky bastard. Of course, this is the week that we get a new employee, and management changes all kinds of procedures on us. Poor kid, he's not going to know what's going on in the coming weeks. And neither are we.
Bonus Work News
Being as we're so shorthanded we've had people in on Overtime helping us out for the past, oh, 4 months maybe? Always different people, we usually see the same group of 8 signing up to work with us on our shift. Today, one of the girls heard me tell one of my coworkers the awesome letters I have been receiving. To make a long story short, she is now a part of the Mike H Snail Mail revival. It will probably be the shortest distance I will send a letter, but it's going to be interesting because she seems very excited to get something other than a bill.
That makes 12 people I send letters to now. With a possible 13th. I haven't decided if I'm going to renew the letter writing with this person. She's probably living in Spain or something, and not Canada like she used to. But who knows?

Personal Messages to my loyal Blog Readers
TGP - I'm very much looking forward to tomorrow night. Before you called me it was a really good plan, and now it's a super fantabulous plan. Mainly because I'll get to see Miss K. She's cute! (I hope she doesn't drink too much.)

Shipkicker - If you really want a letter I'll write you one, and I'll even put it on scented cupcake paper, with rainbows, just like I've previously stated. Unless you're too cool for that kind of thing which I suspect you are.

Pockey - Winnie the Pooh is a great book. But it's difficult to read it at night when My So Called Life is on. (I think I just double deuced myself.)

Cranberry - I'm drinking cranberry juice right now. I wish I had some apple juice so I can mix them together. Oh, and the postcard picture you sent makes me laugh a little on the inside.

Phats - Thank you for cheering on the Canucks. They're doing just fine, and I'll update you on my opinions about their chances for the Stanley Cup in the New Year. I promise.

Ms. Nuttyblonde - The mix CD is on it's way. I made myself a copy too, and I listen to it every morning on my way to work. I love the music I listen to!

Gareth - I'm going to kick ass in the Blog-iator Challenge (shallaunge?) on Phat's Blog. At least, I hope I will. Oh man, I'm so bad at "trash talking".

Grish - Hello? Are you out there? I'm SO sending you a letter!

Cher - TGP hearts you. Pass it on.

I hope everybody has a good weekend!

Tagged! D'oh!

Alright, so I've been tagged by Cher. That means I'm obligated to do one of these things. True to form though, I will not be tagging anyone else. All through my e-mail life, I've been the Forward Killer. Whenever I got one, I read it and deleted it. And I'm still here, so there's your proof that nothing bad happens. Anyways, on with this tagging business.

1. First name: Michael
2. Were you named after anyone? Nope, nothing fancy about Michael
3. Do you wish on stars? Not since 10th Grade.
4. When did you last cry? A few weeks ago. I was watching an older Michael Keaton movie called 'My Life'. I blubbered like a baby, then I went to sleep. Actually, I guess it was Sunday night during Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I always tear up during that show. But no one ever notices. I'm a stealth crier.
5. Do you like your handwriting? No, it's terrible.
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? Garlic Turkey Breast
7. What is your birth date? May 8
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? Um, Avril Lavigne - Let Go. It's nothing like any of my other CD's, which are loads better.
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Of course! I'm very easy to get along with.
10. Are you a daredevil? No, I'm way too responsible. It makes me sick.
11. Favorite Magazines? Don't read them
12. Do looks matter? Health matters. I think if you're keeping yourself healthy, you look good.
13. How do you release anger? Punch my stuffed The Cheat.
14. Where is your second home? My parents house.
15. Do you trust others easily? I usually have faith in the basic good in people. But then I get hurt and it's harder to believe in that.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? He-man action figures. And plastic dinosaurs.
17. What class in high school do you think was totally useless? Gym.
18. Do you have a journal? I carry around a small notebook. I kind of use it like a journal.
19. Do you use sarcasm a lot? No. Sometimes it doesn't "take" to me and I actually believe the person using it against me. Usually ends up with the other person explaining things to me once they realize that I just don't get it.
20. Favorite movie(S): Top 5 Favourite Movies of all time.
1- The Princess Bride
2- Amelie
3- High Fidelity
4- Leon: The Professional
5- Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
21. What are your nicknames? Mike, The Hammer, Hammer of Thor
22. Would you bungee jump? Sure
23. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Yes, how else are they going to come off my feet?
24. Do you think that you are strong? Physically, no. Mentally and emotionally, yes, or so I've been told.
25. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Vanilla
26. Shoe Size? 13
27. What is your favorite color? Blue or green.
28. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I'm too particular about some things.
29. Who do you miss most? This is not a fair question.
30. Do you want everyone you send this to send it back? I'm a Forward Killer!
31. What color pants are you wearing? Blue jeans, my everyday uniform.
32. What are you listening to right now? Most Serene Republic - Content was always my favourite colour.
33. Last thing you ate? Mini Pizzas
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? The whole damn box baby!
35. What is the weather like right now? It's been foggy outside for the last 5 days!
36. Last person you talked to on the phone? Ex-girlfriend. #3 on the Most Heartbreaking Breakup list.
37. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Smile, Eyes, Hair, and then boobs.
38. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes, she sent me the best letter I have ever received.
39. How Are You Today? Lonely.
40. Favorite Drink? Any kind of fruit juice. Sometimes I mix them together. Cran-Apple is best.
41. Favorite Sport? Hockey! Hockey! Hockey!
42. Hair Color? Very dark brown. Almost black, but it's brown, trust me.
43. Eye Color? Brown.
44. Do you wear contacts? Glasses. I had to wear my contacts for the last 5 days and hated every minute they were in my eyes. Blech to contacts.
45. Favorite Food? I'll try everything once.
46. Last Movie You Watched? Walk the Line. And Goblet of Fire in about an hour.
47. Favorite day of the year? Christmas
48. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Happy endings. I can't handle scary.
49. Summer Or Winter? Winter, because cuddling for warmth is the best past-time ever!
50. Hugs OR Kisses? Hugs. Kisses are too much pressure.
51. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Cheesecake.
52. Who Is Most Likely To Respond? N/A
53. Who Is Least Likely To Respond? N/A
54. Living Arrangements? Rent a room from my sister and her boyfriend. And we have a dog.
55. What Books Are You Reading? Today? Winnie the Pooh, A.A. Milne.
56. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Todd Bertuzzi, Markus Naslund, and Trevor Linden.
57. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Nothing good. But LOST is on tonight! Woohoo!
58. No #58? I'm scared!
59. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles
60. What's the furthest you've been from home? Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I'm not very well travelled.

One Million!

$1,000,000!
One Million Dollars!

I wish for A Million Dollars!

(see comment section in previous post for full explanation)

The list revisited.

Ok, was anybody around when I did my Top 5 Most Heartbreaking Breakups last month? I know some of you were. Well, let me hit you with an update on all that.

I e-mailed Natalie L. (#4 on the list) and we got together and had Tea and Hot Chocolate at Tim Horton's. It was great. We caught up, we renewed the friendship once more, and things are great. She's moving back to my area soon and would love to catch a movie with me as soon as she's settled. We're talking, not until the New Year folks. And she's still just a friend. A really great friend who doesn't have any drama in her life at all. She gets along with everybody! It was good to catch up.

Then on that same day (no joke) I get home and check my e-mail, and lo and behold, out of the BLUE, Sara O. has tracked me down via Myspace. Sara O. was the #1 Heartbreaker of all time. She messed me up pretty bad. I'm still trying to get rid of the ring people. I'm working on it, believe me. She sent me a message saying "Just a quick Hi!"
If anyone is interested in checking out what a first class Heartbreaker really looks like, here's her account.
http://www.myspace.com/sara81
It's harmless to go look, really. But don't lead her back here. Who knows what she might think! Probably be weirded out by all of us coolios.

And if you check out her friend list, you may notice a girl named Melisa. Yes, this is the infamous Melisa G. She who is #5 on the all time Top 5 Most Heartbreaking Breakups list.
Oh man, the Internet is a weird and crazy place sometimes.

Oh, and I'm going to a hockey game tonight (Go Canucks!) with Andrea T. #3 on the list. We still have some business to sort out about the whole working together thing. It's rough on my poor head/heart. I don't exactly WANT to go with her. But it'll have to do, I promised to take her way back in the pre-season. And I always keep my promises. Even if it means suffering a little bit.

No word on #4, Christina T. aka X-tanic. I hope she's NOT happy in a terrible relationship with some douche bag while feeling regret for ever dumping me. Serves her right. Blah!

To Blank with love...

To Craig Kilborn with love,
Late night television just hasn’t been the same since you left. Now all we have of you is that jerky character in Old School. Glad to see you’re in a new movie, as… wait… another jerky character? Proud of you Kilby, don’t ever change.

To my Pen Gals with love,
It may take me a while to send you letters, but I write when I have the time and I’ll always make time for you, baby. Right after the hockey game is over, and if you’re up anyways could you grab me another beer from the fridge? Hugs and kisses from Canada!

To The Cheat with love,
Before you arrived on my doorstep I had nothing to punch, so I bottled it all inside of me. Now that you’re here, I can punch you a million times over and you still come back for more. What’s that? Giving me more sass again? You’re getting a punch, and maybe even a kick if you’re lucky.

To TV shows on DVD with love,
Where would I be if I didn’t have the first season of Fraggles, Muppets, Simpsons, Futurama, Samurai Jack, Gargoyles, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Lost, Arrested Development, Batman the Animated Series, Superman the Animated Series, Family Guy, He-man, and Invader Zim on DVD? I’d probably have a lot more money and a much more fulfilling life. Maybe I should join a book club or something. My pupils are going to become square shaped soon.

To Gareth with love,
We abuse you because you’re so far away and therefore we fear no reprisals. It’s all in good fun buddy, we don’t really believe all the mean things we say. In some secret, messed up way, we’re mad that you’re not on the same continent as us. Because all we Canadians really want is Lucky Charms, there’s a rumour going around that they’re magically delicious. You silly little Leprechaun.


To all the Bloggers who read this with love,
I blog for YOU, and I read everyone’s new posts regularly. Actually, who am I kidding? I blog for myself, and if nobody leaves a comment I feel like I’ve wasted my time. So please everybloggy, leave as many comments as you want! Ask me anything! Please?!

Your Pal, Mike H
Proud

Dammit!

Of all the freaking annoying things to happen!

My glasses just broke!
Right about the time that every single glasses repair shop place in my hometown closes down.

Now, on any normal day this wouldn't bother me so much. In fact, annoying things happen to me all the time. I've accepted that this is just the way my life is. (It's made me a very patient person.) But today, I was free all day. Why couldn't it have happened earlier, when I had the time to fix it! Why did it have to happen now, when I can't get it fixed for 2 more days because I'm working.
It's not like I'll be blind mind you. I DO have a pair of contact lenses I can wear. But at work, which I start tomorrow, I'm supposed to wear safety glasses. I don't have any safety glasses because I wear regular glasses, which is totally acceptable. But now I have to borrow some, because our Safety Inspector just got laid off and he normally gives out the safety glasses. But with nobody in the position, nobody is going to know what the heck is going on. So I'm borrowing some. This is so annoying.
This kind of feels like the perfect storm, doesn't it?

When is this great karma supposed to kick in, TGP? I mean, I gave that guy a Starbucks card, shouldn't something mildly good happen to me now?

My work 'friends' are Nerds.

Henry Rollins is awesome! He is so unabashedly honest about the way he feels, and humble to the point of self humiliation, how can anyone not like the guy? I'm obviously a fan now. Although not to the extent that TGP is a fan. I do NOT want to bear his children.

Cher, we looked around for the people you knew. But alas, we saw no big chicks with retarded native friends. But we really looked hard, honestly.

***

I am a sucker, a rube, a small town country boy. Let me explain.

While we were standing in line (2 hours before the doors opened) I had to go throw out my now empty cup from the peppermint hot chocolate I had consumed earlier. On my way back to TGP, freezing her toes off in line, I was sidetracked by some guy (outdated jacket, backpack, a few days growth, didn't smell unshowered, he didn't appear homeless) asking me what the lineup was for. He seemed pretty excited that Rollins was in town and wanted to know if I had an exra ticket. Yeah right, my friends hadn't even shown up with my ticket. Little did I know that this small talk was merely a ploy to ask me for some food.
Damn. He just asked me for food, not money or weed or cigarettes, but actual food. I told him, being the soft hearted sucker that I am, that I would buy him a sandwich from the Starbucks we were standing outside. But he wouldn't go in. He said that he has had arguments with the employees at this Starbucks before so he could not go into it with me to pick out the sandwich of his liking. Then he said that he would rather have one of those gift cards because he could really use the coffee in the morning. I figured there was no harm in giving him a gift card that he could only use at a Starbucks location. It's not like giving a homeless guy money so he could go buy more drugs. He was very appreciative of my $5 donation to him and thanked me. I felt totally taken. I hope he actually went out and enjoyed a coffee and did not scam some poor person out of $20 for a Starbucks gift card that only had $5 on it.
I am such a sucker.

This all goes to show that at the heart of the matter, I will still believe that people are inherently good and they tell the truth when telling the truth is important.

I should just carry sandwiches around when I visit Vancouver.

"You're out of your element, Donny"

Last night I actually went out to a party. It was totally an adult party, there were appetizers and wine. People talked about their jobs and how they met their significant other. I was totally out of my element.

But I did go with a friend, and she was kind of out of her element as well. She invited me so that we could both be the only 2 people who barely knew anybody there. Actually, she knew the hostess and her brother, whereas I knew nobody.

It's been so long that I've been to a social gathering, I was absolutely petrified most of the time. I don't mean, like, afraid to speak to anyone. I mean that I didn't really initiate any kind of conversation with anyone, but I responded to questions about myself if anybody saw fit to talk to me. I figured, 'I don't know anyone here, they all know each other, let THEM come to me'. So I didn't really end up talking to too many people.
I ended up doing a lot of crowd watching, and listening to what other people were talking about. There were, like, 10 couples there, and there were probably only 22 people, or something like that. This was not a party in which to meet any prospective ladies.

Overall I had a good time. I know now what not to do at a party. Do not just sit in a chair next to the one person you know and listen to her talk to others. I should have done more mingling, as soon as I figure out how to do that.

That's the not-so-exciting story of my Saturday night.

Monday should be much better as I'm going to see Henry Rollins with a work friend. But coincidence of the year, TGP is going as well! This should be grood.

Great and Good.

You mean I actually have plans tonight?

Oh my goodness, I've been invited to a get-together.

I hope it's not boring.

Of course, everybody knows I'll blog about this later.

Thanks to everyone who sent me their address!

I'll bring the mail pile to the Post Office on Monday.

(Now where do I find scented rainbow cupcake paper?)

Post Haste

So, there's been some talk in the ol' comments section of people wanting to be put on the list of Mike H snail mail. I took this as there being a demand for my mundane, run-of-the-mill letters.
I've set up an email address if anybody would like to have their info remain anonymous to anyone but me. Just send me your address and I will send you a letter.

iwantmikehsnailmail@hotmail.com

I will write you a letter, but depending on how many people want one, it may take some time. I can make everyone the promise that it will be there before Christmas.

Oh yeah, my family does a Christmas letter every year. I usually get the task of writing it, but because I am not currently living at home, I believe I will write my own page for the Christmas letter. My Mom can take care of the family goings ons. I will take care of my own. Let me know at the above e-mail address if you would like a Mike H Christmas Letter Addendum.

I look forward to writing everyone a letter. Plain as it might be.

What to do, what to do.

I wish I had something different to do than watch boring television and movies. Wait, scratch that. I wish I had someone to do these things with.

I miss having a girlfriend. I just want someone to do nothing with, because I know that doing nothing is still like doing something when you're doing nothing with someone. You follow?

I was picking up some of my stuff from my parents house yesterday (They have a lot of it stored for me because of my 3 moves last year) and I came across the shoebox of stuff I had from the #1 Most Heartbreaking Breakup, Sara O. In it was every note she had ever written me, a few framed pictures of the happier times, and the ring I bought for her that she returned when she dumped me.
It's still as small as I remember it. I seriously can't blame her for giving it back. Even though I spent what I still feel is a lot of money.

I don't know what to do with it now. I mean, it's a diamond ring, for a girl. It meant a lot for me to give it to her at the time, but now I don't know what I should do with it.
Sell it?
Keep it?
Give it to the next girlfriend I fall in love with?
I feel like such a fool for buying it now. How did I ever fall so hard?

Le sigh....

Anyways, my point.

I'm bored and I need something to do.

I used to write letters to people. I love writing letters. Not some typed up letter that you can go back and edit, or some e-mail that gets there instantaneously. I mean, true blue snail mail letters. TGP can back me up on this, because we used to send letters to each other all the time. I kept all of hers, I wonder if she has all of mine?
It's a great way to kill time. But most of the people I sent letters to are all gone from my life, with the exception of TGP of course. I think I'm gonna start this up again. It might keep my mind off of all the stupid lonely things I always seem to dwell on.

So I guess this is like, an official declaration of my intention to restart writing letters to old friends.

Watch out mailbox, here I come.

Disneyland

I just got back from Disneyland.

It was SOOOO much fun.

I probably don't need to explain much about the place. It's seriously awesome. The last time I went was in '94, so there were a million and one new things to do when we were there this time. Including California Adventure Park. I can't believe Disney put a whole new theme park right over top of their own parking lot! And where do all the thousands of visitors park now you might ask? Why, in the 10,000 car parking garage built on an old strawberry field of course. A 10,000 car parking garage. And it was full on Saturday.

But, instead of boring everybody with all the details of my trip, I'll just post the pictures that I took with my NEW digital camera. The reason I didn't have time to post a "see you in a few days" message was because I was out buying it.

Here we go...

I was just trying to eat my lunch, and western style Goofy came up and grabbed me.

My parents and Sully. So cute.

I was gonna try and get Cinderella's number, but long distance relationships never work out. And she's married to Prince Charming. I can't compete with a guy who owns a castle. Oh yeah, and Belle was way hotter, but I couldn't get close enough to her to get a picture.

OK, Pluto was freaking everywhere. In the days after this picture was taken we saw him around Disneyland 5 times. I'm totally sick of seeing him now.

I went on Star Tours twice. We tried to go on Space Mountain more than twice, but with an entourage of 7 people it was hard to do everything that everyone wanted to do. Oh yeah, and Yoda is awesome. Anyone who really knows me knows that I love Star Wars. I bought the Episode III DVD the night before, and then went on vacation. I still haven't had time to watch it yet.

And Mickey of course. We lined up and met him at his house in Toon Town too, but it's not a great picture.

So there's a brief, quick description of what we did in Disneyland. I don't want to rub in peoples faces, but it was awesome. A much needed vacation.

The TRUE Pumpkin Day

With everybody posting their own stories of Pumpkin Day, I'm here to put the whole thing into one special edition DVD of Pumpkin Day.

Here we go.

I met TGP around 11am so we could go and buy pumpkins. This was a fun task. Mainly because of our enthusiasm about doing something as simple as just buying some pumpakins. But TGP and I always make the other laugh. It's just something we do to each other naturally.
In picking out our pumpkins we both made sure to get a good size range. Just in case someone wanted to make a small pumpakin, and maybe in case someone felt ambitious enough make a big complicated pumpkin.
Yes, what you read on TGP's blog was true. Some lady did notice that I had just picked out a great shaped pumpkin and expressed a desire for it. She said "Ooo, that one looked like a good one" and I said, "Oh, too bad, I guess I got it" and then she called me a bastard. Right in front of her kids. How hilarious is that?
And we did make up a back story in case people asked why we were buying so many pumpkins, we were going to say that they were for the orphans and did they want to deprive the orphans of Hallowe'en? This was followed by a fit of giggles from the both of us, and I decided that we also needed some chocolate to go with the pumpkins for "the orphans". In all, we had a fun time at the grocery store while everyone around us were just all business.
Upon returning to TGP's house we did in fact receive a punkin on the doorstep from the local real estate agent. (It's like he knew!) And I am fairly certain that it's the one with the rotten pumpkin soup inside of it. It was soooo funny to see TGP's reaction to the rotten soup. All I could do was laugh, because she had specifically chosen that punkin because it had a 'handle' whereas her last 2 had none. So she hand picked the pumpkin that was rotten. Too funny. (I still say we should have duct taped it shut again and applied some googly eyes.)

Before all this though, we spent a good hour trying to get our stencil picks from the internet. Oh you ornery internet. You can be such a tease.

Then the dazzlemazing Shipkicker showed up and donned her pumpkin carving shirt, which was pretty effing hardcore. She was ready to rock those pumpakins Crue-style. She went to pick a stencil, and I was impressed that she picked Spongebob. He looked freaking hard to do, and it turns out he was. Nevermind the fact that I had to go over her sparsely spaced dots and draw it in for her. Spongebob takes a dedication that I would not have had the patience for.




He looks amazingly spongelike, Shippy. I'm still impressed.




I chose to stick with easier stencils from my favourite website of all time. Seriously, it's why the internet exists for me. www.homestarrunner.com
I love it.
Here are my pumpakins, and they're all from that website.

For those not in 'the know' yet, they are, The Cheat, Homestar Runner himself, and Trogdor. (And the Trogdor comes in the NIIIIIIIGHT!.)

I just can't get enough of that wonderful stuff.

During the course of the afternoon, her pink and blondness Pockey came along and brought her own pumpkins. She also had the camera, so that's why there aren't any pictures of anything before she triumphantly arrived.

Shipkicker was still working on Bob, and was feeling the crunch, but she didn't give up. And for that I'm proud of her. It's not every year you find three pumpakin carving crazies all at the same time.

By now it was mid-afternoon and I had invited myself over for dinner. Some drinks had been poured, but everyone was trying to carve pumpkins, so the drinks were all but forgotten. I started clearing out Pockey's punkins because she detests the feel of the goop. I LOVE the goop. I was having so much fun separating the seeds from the goop.

A little too much fun perhaps? I'm such a ham!

So anyways, when we were done, the photos of the finished product were taken, and we were all very pleased with ourselves.

But I don't think Shippy was too excited about doing it next year. I think she threw her back out six ways from Sunday carving little Bob out of the pumpkin. Poor Shipkicker, but not really. She ditched us for a costume party that night. So we had lasagna, wine and cheese without her.

Sweet. There you have it. The True Hollywood story behind this business that was Pumpkin Day.

Pumpkin Day! and Look at how cute I was.

Yesterday TGP, Pockey, Shipkicker and myself all carved pumpakins in a gloriously fun-filled afternoon we affectionately called, Pumpkin Day. That's right, it was just me and 3 girls. 3 really cool, awesome, good looking girls. Jealous? You should be.

It was a marathon afternoon of scooping, stencilling and carving. I made 4 pumpakins and I only used the punkin stencils available from the Homestar Runner website. TGP's Mom was very confused as to what mine were supposed to be. But she recognized most, if not all, of the other girls pumpakins. TGP's Mom is so nice. She was cool with the fact that there were 12 pumpakins all over her kitchen and that I had totally invited myself over for dinner at her place. Such an awesome Mom.
It was sooo much fun. Some much needed fun after doing that Top 5 list.

After the carving, dinner, and the hockey game I went upstairs to find TGP and Pockey looking at pictures of days gone by. They didn't care too much that the Canucks had lost, so I just joined into the picture looking. It was a good thing I came when I did too, because there were some embarrasing ones of me in there. (We're almost even Pockey, I have some pics at my house that will make us totally even).

Here though, is a baby pic of me. I'm at my Grandma's house in the early 80's, and I think I did this a lot.


Because here I am again with my cousin, (the one who just got engaged).

Aren't we the little misfits? She's a year older than me, so I was just following her lead. I mean seriously, she's obviously the one in charge here. I'm so happy that she's getting married this summer. Our family needed some good news for a change.

So that's a little taste of what I actually look like. I may get more brave and post some pictures of my upcoming family vacation to Disneyland. I'm leaving in 3 days.

The list again...

Here they are again, in the intended order, the order of how badly they broke my tender heart.

Top 5 Most Heartbreaking Breakups
#1 - Sara O.
#2 - Christina T.
#3 - Andrea T.
#4 - Natalie L.
#5 - Melisa G.

Chronologically it goes,
Natalie - 3 months in 1996,
Melisa - 1 month in 1997,
Sara - Summer '98 - Summer '02,
Christina - Winter '02 - Summer '03,
Andrea - Oct '03 - Dec '04 and May '05 - Oct '05.

In case anybody was wondering.

There you have it, the history of my heartbreaks. I hope you've all enjoyed it. I sure didn't.

Top 5 Most Heartbreaking Breakups, #1

#1 - Sara O.

Sara and I went to the same High School, but we were never in any classes together. I was in French Immersion so there was a bit of a divide between the 'English Muffins' and the 'French Fries'. (I don't know if that's what anybody else said, but I sure used it a lot)
We started dating because of a scheming mutual friend. She kept going on and on to me about Sara this, and Sara that, and kept pushing me to hang out with them when they were both going to a movie together. I agreed (2 girls and me? how could I refuse?) and was totally set-up. I met them at the theater, we watched our movie and then suddenly the mutual friend wasn't able to drive Sara home, so I offered. She bravely told me that she was totally crushing, so we started dating. This was during the summer before Grade 12, the summer of '98.
Our Grade 12 year together was phenomenal. We were so blissfully happy it was sickening. She totally dug me, and I totally worshipped her. I was so in sync with this amazing girl. We both had the same plans for the future, we both wanted the same things in life. It was true love.

Now, (ahem), everybody remembers their first time right? Most people have either an awkward story, or an embarrasingly short one to tell. I'm not going to tell mine, but I will say that Sara was my first, and we waited until we were both good and ready before doing anything. After that my mind, body, and soul were totally in love with this girl. We went to Grad/Prom together. We introduced our entire families to each other. I was going to be spending the rest of my life with this girl, or so I thought at the time.
As picture perfect as I'm making this all out to be, the relationship did have it's problems. We both went to different post secondary institutions. She was at a local college, and I was at one of the local Universities. When I reconnected with the ex-gf Natalie, but just as friends, Sara was none too impressed. I had to convince her that Nat was only a friend, and would only ever be a friend. I'm sure everyone has had this problem before. Things were all good though. Everybody got along when we all hung out together. I mean, we all went to the same High School, so she knew everything there was to know about these girls. It's not like I ever hung out with any of them alone. (Sara also had a problem with my friendship to TGP, but that all worked out in the end.)
The thing about Sara and I that I loved the most was the fact that we talked about everything, including our insecurities, with each other. If she felt threatened by my friendship with a girl, she let me know about it right away and we fixed it together. I don't think I ever had a problem with anything she ever did. I trusted her judgment on everything, and I felt that she loved me as much as I loved her, even if she did have trust issues with my friends.

I even bought her a diamond ring, to go with the diamond necklace and diamond earrings I had bought her the previous years. Just small diamonds mind you, I wasn't made of money and I'm still not. But I did pay a lot for the ring. It was a promise ring and I gave it to her on our '2 years together' anniversary. I was so committed to this girl. I haven't bought a girl anything as nice as I did for Sara.

She dropped the bomb on me on August 5th, 2002. I still remember time standing still, my arms and legs going numb, and the tears. She told me that she didn't like who she was when we were together and that she thought we should see other people. She carefully gave the ring back into my hands, and I just ran out of there (we were at her house). Just like that she dumped me, out of nowhere. No lead up, no bad spell of arguing with each other, nobody cheated. She was just done with me.

I was working the night shifts as a stock boy at the same grocery store that her Mom had worked at for years and years. I talked briefly to her Mom about what had happened as my last shift ended. Her Mom was so sweet, and still is, and told me to keep calling and not to give up. I tried calling her once, but she was cold and short with me.

I started working at the battery factory the next week, and people who remember me from when I started will tell you that I was one sad boy back in those days.

Sara got a job at my local video store, so I stopped renting movies when she was working. I couldn't bring myself to talk to her, she crushed my heart so badly. She was fired for giving away too many free rentals. Then she got a job around the corner at the local Starbucks, so I stopped going there too. Of course, Starbucks is everywhere so I still manage to buy myself a Passion Tea Lemonade whenever the weather turns nice.

I most recently saw Sara when her younger brother was graduating this past summer. A family friend was also in the same graduating class and my family was part of the cheering section. Her Mom was the only one who came up to talk to me, and express sympathy about how things turned out. My Mom wanted a picture of us (me and her Mom), and to be honest, it was the worst most awkward thing I ever had to do.

I don't avoid Sara anymore, but I don't see her as much as I used to. People always come up to me and say, "You'll never guess who I saw working at Starbucks" or "Guess who I just ran into the other day at Save-on?". The answer is always the same, but I just let my mind shut off and don't think about it too much, in case the hurt returns.

Top 5 Most Heartbreaking Breakups, #2

#2 - Christina T.

Also known as X-tanic. "X", like as in x-mas, or ex-gf. And "tanic", as in either satanic because she ended up being so mean (not vindictive, just mean), or Titanic as in she is a sinking ship of doom. X-tanic, coined by one of her ex-friends that ended up being friends with me after this whole debacle.

I met X-tanic when my University crew were all hanging out in the same area as TGP's University crew. Whereas, my crew had only 5 people, TGP's had, like, a lot more. I say this because X-tanic wasn't really friends with TGP, they just knew her from high school and hung out with some of the same people. (There TGP, you're absolved from any real association with her.)

So anyways, when I met X-tanic she was in the process of messing around another boy, a good friend of TGP's, but I didn't really know about that at the time. I found out later, and for some reason didn't seem to mind. I just wanted to be with X-tanic, so I jumped at every chance I got to be near her. She ended up inviting me to her Home Group (kind of an informal Bible Study) which I attended for the better part of 8 months. I got to know a lot of her friends and was even invited to one girl's wedding.
It took me forever to woo X-tanic. She would string me along, act all like she was interested in me, and then pull back. Give me the go ahead, and then put up a stop sign. It was very confusing, because I had made my feelings for her very clear near the beginning. After that I started in on "Full Woo".
It was one of the longest woos in my wooing history.
In total, I made her 10 mix CD's. That's right, 10 CD's of songs that I had hand picked myself because of the uniting themes of "I'm SO into you and want to be with you all the time". Seriously, these things were intense. I wish I had copied more than just 3 of them for myself. I even named the CD's song titles/lyrics to express my feelings (eg. Precious Declarations, You've Already Won Me Over). Here's a sample of some of the songs:

Sky - Some kind of wonderful
Reindeer Section - You are my joy
Nat King Cole - L.O.V.E.
Police - Every little thing she does
Incubus - Are you in
Phil Collins - Can't hurry love
Alanis Morissette - Head over feet
Semisonic - F.N.T.
Michael Buble - Come fly with me
Andrew W.K. - She is beautiful

...and those are just from 3 of the 10 CD's. Imagine what all 10 would do to a girl? Turns out for X-tanic it only did something for a week or so, then the trail went cold. Usually after I gave her one we would have these amazingly long makeout sessions. Once we even made out on a dark playground in the rain. Then, she would act all like it didn't mean anything. That she wasn't sure I was the guy she wanted to be with.

Everything was so secretive too, it added a bit of excitement. It wasn't until later that I realized she may have been ashamed of me. Which is weird, because I was doing everything right for this stupid girl. I even went above and beyond one time. Her friend was coming in from out of town, she wanted to go see Vancouver Island (an all day trip). X-tanic couldn't take her because she had an evening class, I had the day off, so I took her instead. I totally could have gotten some play from this girl, but I didn't notice because I was too busy talking about X-tanic the whole time.
I am an idiot.

After about 8 months of the mind games she decided she'd give me a chance to be her boyfriend, officially. One week later, in my exhuberance of announcing this to a select few members of Home Group I had become close friends with, she totally shut me down. Decided that she didn't think she had made the right choice and that we should just stay friends. Thought I had a problem with discretion.
Excuse me? These were our friends, it's not like I was telling everyone in my social circle. And it's not like they didn't know I was wooing her for the last 8 months either. They were happy she had finally given in.
The few in Home Group who knew about the success, and then failure, were not impressed with the way ended things with me, and they totally sympathized with me. They even went so far as to stop being friends with her, and I had gained 3 more really cool people in my life. Oh, and our Home Group kind of dissolved after that.

I kind of gave up on the whole mix CD idea for wooing a girl. After all that effort going to waste it's kind of jaded me to the whole woo process. I haven't wooed in years now. But I do like to say "woo" any chance I get.

I hear about X-tanic from time to time. I think she's smoking a lot of pot now with her anti-establishment boyfriend. TGP saw her once at a concert and HAD to tell me what a terrible mess she looked like. I believe she said "Seriously Mike H, she looked like shit".

There's no greater revenge than to live well.

Top 5 Most Heartbreaking Breakups, #3 Part Two

So where was I?

Oh yeah, after a few months of misery I realized that I couldn't move on. It killed me to see her all the time, and I thought that she was upset about it too.

Turns out that she had made quite a few friends online, and one of them was attracted to her. He lives in New Orleans, and she actually went to visit this guy. A guy she met online through a video game! Tell me, how stupid does that sound? By now we had started talking and I was trying to convince her that this New Orleans guy was bad news. I was trying to tell her that I had broken things off with us in anger, and that I wasn't really ready to move on.

I wasn't ready at all. The thought of her going down to New Orleans to visit this guy made my skin crawl. I couldn't believe that she had discarded what we had together so quickly and so easily. I was ready to give up on us entirely. But I didn't, and neither did she, so we renegotiated a deal to get back together. She had to confront my family and explain herself which she did, such a trooper! And quit that silly online game for good. I would get to hold her copy of the game because I still wasn't ready to fully trust her again. I WAS willing to forgive her though, and try and forget about everything. But in the end, I couldn't forget.
I forgave her, I'm very good at forgiveness. In fact, I excel at it. But she wasn't making it easy to be with her, again. Things started out kind of alright, but when it came down to it, she broke my trust in her so terribly that I questioned everything she did. Every text message she got I asked who it was. Every time she didn't answer the phone when I called I wondered. It wasn't very nice of me, but with that stupid Hurricane that hit New Orleans I had every right to be worried that this guy was going to make a play for her. He had the means (read 'his family is rich') to get out of the state, and he kept on checking in with her. Talk about annoying! Whatever, they can have each other now, across all 5000 km of distance. Stupid video game.

I already posted the rest of what happened. But I realized something today as we made small talk at work. I may be giving her a false hope of getting back together by being so nice to her still. I hope she doesn't think this is going to happen. Because I don't see myself with her anymore. As much as it pains me to say, she ruined it for herself.

I've given the game back. She was playing it during that teary phone call asking me if I was still attracted to her. I could hear the keyboard clacking in the background.

I hope she realizes what she's missing. It's going to be a while before I love anyone that much again. I don't know when I'll be ready to be hurt that badly. I gave so much of myself into that relationship. It was a lot of work, but I don't feel like I wasted my time. I just feel like a colossal failure at relationships.

Love stinks.

Top 5 Most Heartbreaking Breakups, #3 Part One

This is a two parter, so hang in there.

#3 - Andrea T.

This is probably the most complex and convoluted story I've ever had to ponder. It's still in progress, but it's only the "falling action" part, so nothing new should come of it.

Yes, Andrea is the notorious 'A' that I've been blogging about in my posts over the last few weeks. She is the one I met at work and eventually fell in love with, only to have my heart smashed into pieces. Let me elaborate...

2 years ago, almost to the day, Andrea started working at my battery factory. Within a week of her starting, we were seeing each other socially. Then when the sparks flew, I made her promise me that if we started anything serious that she had to promise me things between us would never get weird at work. She guaranteed me that they wouldn't.
A month after that I moved out of my parents house for the first time ever. I was on my own, living with a guy I grew up with. Andrea and I couldn't have been happier. She spent the night a whole bunch, we shared our first Christmas together at my place. 8 months later, we were living together, just her and I, in a rented basement suite. Life was grand.
Now, all of you doubters are probably scratching your heads wondering why a level headed, slow moving guy like me would take such a commitment leap so quickly in a relationship. I can't say I know... love makes people crazy.
One year of this amazingly great relationship rolls by and we go down to her brother's wedding in Las Vegas. I've already been to Vegas before, and frankly, it's just not for me. I don't drink myself stupid and I definitely don't have money to burn on gambling. So anyways, in Vegas she acts like a total fool and gets stupid drunk, forgetting all about the fact that I'm there. I had a great time visiting with her family, but I can really only spend so much time with a family that isn't mine. After a few hours at the reception and getting the repeated brush off from my gf, I was ready for bed. She got all upset and apologetic the next day and things weren't really the same after that. She would argue with me about silly things. We actually fought more than ever and she was getting upset about it at work, but didn't tell anyone why. It ended up that we decided to save the relationship we shouldn't both live and work together, so I moved back in with my parents and she moved back in with hers. I wanted this one to work out, I really did, I was willing to do whatever it took to make it happen.

The next few months were a nightmare. She would always argue/nitpick/fight with me, she became hopelessly addicted to an online video game, and generally let her health fall to pieces. I was at the end of my rope when she tearily told me on Dec. 19th, 2004 that she had kissed some other dude while we were in Vegas.

Burn. I had never felt so mad and upset and angry before in my entire life. I ended it then and there. Not only had she cheated, she had kept it from me for 2 whole months (Oct to Dec). And instead of making things better between us, she made them worse. She treated me like I was doing something wrong all the time, which I wasn't, when she was the one who did something wrong. Talk about ass-backwards! Oh, and to make me feel even more resentment about the whole thing she threatened to kill herself because she had nothing left to live for. Obviously she didn't go through with it, but talk about scary. I was so mad that she would say that! What a head case!

I immediately transferred to a different team at work and I only ever saw her for a few minutes every week. I couldn't even look at her it hurt so bad. We didn't talk for 3 months. I don't even remember most of what happened during those 3 months, I was so down about my own life.

.....

Stay tuned, this story has a part 2 coming up tomorrow!

Top 5 Most Heartbreaking Breakups, #4

#4 - Natalie L.
I was in most of the same Grade 10 classes with Natalie (this was before I discovered the wooing power of mix tapes). It seems to go, that if you have the same classes with a girl you like, you get to know her a bit more. It's a universal truth.
She was having trouble with the Chemistry homework, I think, and I offered to help her because I had a little boy crush on her. Once she realized that I was interested in being her boyfriend she was all about it. We went on a few dates, mostly to bookstores, movies, and on walks. We never hung out at her place though, because of a bad family situation. She lived with her Mom during the school week, and was at her Dad's on the weekend. They had both remarried, but she was not a big fan of the guy she was supposed to call Stepdad.
Things moved along good. We held hands, we ate lunch with her group of girl friends. All of them seemed to like me. Everything was rosy. Then I finally got the guts to go for "the kiss."
This took some time, because we only really hung out on weekends, if I remember correctly. And I've already mentioned that I'm kind of a slow mover. Besides that, she was always really busy dealing with her parents and making a final decision on where she wanted to permanently live. So anyways, I went for the kiss when I dropped her off one night, and a few days later she dumped me.
Right out of the blue. I was on cloud nine because I had finally kissed the girl I liked, and she dumps me. Splat.
This made me believe that I was a bad kisser for a short period of time. I found out much later in life that I am, in fact, NOT a bad kisser.
She told me it was because things with her family were getting really hard to deal with and she didn't want me involved in any of it, but don't take it personally I was a really nice boy. Ouch. But I took it like a man, er boy. I believed her (who wouldn't?) and we parted ways.

I didn't see too much of Natalie after that aside from the classes we still had together through Grade 10-12. We didn't talk anymore, and I was sad about that. I thought that she was avoiding me, and she thought I was avoiding her. It was awkward whenever we were at the same party until Grade 12. But by then the awkwardness had faded into the past.
Then, on my first day of University, I saw her and some of her friends sitting in one of the study areas under a staircase close to my next class. I asked how things were going, and we found out that we had the same class together. We kind of ignored the whole past relationship thing and started a whole new friendship that day, her and her friends and I.
For the next 3 years we all hung out together, outside of school, and during our breaks together. She's really a very cool girl, always friendly. TGP knows what I'm talking about.

By now she's probably living in Paris teaching English to little French kids. If she's not, I'd be surprised. We kind of lost touch when I dropped out and didn't go to University anymore.

...maybe I'll e-mail her

Top 5 Most Heartbreaking Breakups, #5

Remember that movie 'High Fidelity'? I LOVE this movie. It really just exudes mounds and mounds of coolness. The thing I like best about it is the fact that the characters make Top 5 lists of everything. The whole premise of the movie is based on this guy's Top 5 breakups and how he tries to get past them. Starring John Cusack, my movie hero of the 90's.

This got me thinking about my own experiences with breakups, there haven't been too many, but enough that I can have a Top 5.

It took me a little bit to decide on a #5, usually #5 is a throwaway pick that doesn't really affect the list too badly.

Here I go...

#5 - Melisa G.
We went out in the October of Grade 11 for one month. She was part of this 'cool' crowd, and I was just me, not part of any kind of crowd. We hung out on the weekends and she was pretty cool. She was very concerned about her hair, and it really was something to behold. All long and black and curly. It smelled really good. She made these most amazing mix tapes for me as well. These things were awesome. It got me started on my own mix tapes, that eventually led to making mix CD's that rock socks off.
She dumped me after a month because I wasn't really what she was looking for. Translation, I was too boring. It's true, I didn't really develop my winning personality until the next year, I was really boring. We didn't even kiss. I was a slow mover. I still am, I think.
She broke up with me over the phone, and I felt like such a fool. How tacky! Over the phone! I was just like, 'whatever', and we never really talked again after that. I vowed to never break up with someone over the phone after that experience.
She worked at Future Shop after graduation, and I would be social whenever I ran into her when I was buying CD's. I haven't seen her for a few years, so who knows what she's doing now but last I heard she's single. I remember hearing from someone that she's only had 2 boyfriends so far, and I was one of them. I guess that's kind of a nice distinction. But still, what a sucky relationship.

She did introduce me to books written by Kurt Vonnegut though, stories that I ended up liking so much that I've read nearly every one of his books.

Give up the Funk

I feel much better about life in general today. I think it was because I was working so much at a job that sucks the energy right out of me. 6 12-hour shifts in a row will NOT be happening again anytime soon.

I'm looking forward to my 4 days off. The first one will be spent in bed. I need a day in bed watching movies and eating junk food. Then, I'm going to watch the Canucks (yay!) play Wayne Gretzky's Phoenix Coyotes (boo). How about that huh? I get to be in the same building as Gretzky! The Great One! Cool!

The last two days are still coming into focus. I have TGP penned (none of this pencil silliness) in for a movie and I'll finally get to see my cousin. The one who got engaged. We haven't hung out for close to 3 months, and we only live 15 mins away from each other. It's because of stupid life and all the busy-ness. Why can't the busy-ness leave me alone for a week, why?!?!

Here's something about me that might make you laugh. I'm secretly addicted to the show 'My So-Called Life'. I didn't watch it the first time around when it was on in 1994, but they've recently been playing it on the Family Channel at 11pm. I don't know why, but I've become enamored with this little time capsule of a show. It kind of makes me want to go back and check out 'Party of Five'. Remember that depressing show? Oh man, what I wouldn't give to be with Lacey Chabert right now.

I heart the 1990's!

Hello Sucky Day

Today I feel like everything sucks.

'A' called me last night and wanted to talk. She didn't understand the reasons we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. I had to explain it to her again. Then she asked me if I still found her attractive. I didn't know what to say. I mean, of course I still think she's attractive. But I didn't think that I should say that, so instead I just didn't say anything.
She got really upset, started crying, and I just felt awful. I wasn't upset or anything. I just felt like I was a steaming pile of poo. Absolutely wortheless.
I don't know what to do anymore. A year ago I had all the answers, I knew what I was doing. Things were going to work out, even if we hit a long rough patch. But now, I'm totally in the dark. Today sucks.

A co-worker, Mstile, invited me to come and work out at the gym with him today. We used to work out together, but 'A' and I hit that rough patch last year and I just stopped going. He's since surpassed my skill level and I think he's just trying to help me out by getting me out of the dismal loneliness of myself, er I mean my house. He's just trying to help out by getting me out of my house. I had every intention of going, but after that phone call last night I just don't want to go anywhere. Now I feel bad for cancelling on him.

The Canucks won against Dallas last night, 5-2, but even that doesn't cheer me up like it normally does.
And it's raining. Usually I like the rain, but not today. Today sucks.

I'll get out there eventually, I'll beat this prolonged case of the October Blahs. But I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's a really long tunnel.

This is all just par for the course right now. My big sis is in hospital, my Mom is stressed out and it's beginning to show (weight loss), my Dad's 2 co-workers both went on stress leave which means he has to work extra long hours with people who don't know the job, my lil sis is dealing with trust issues with her bf whom we live with. I'm worried about my family on top of dealing with all this other stuff.

The only great thing going on right now is that my cousin just got engaged last weekend.

There, I'll leave it on some good news.

Hurts like a bitchy bitch!

Blah,

I've only just begun my work week and it's already been too much to handle. On top of doing 2 extra day shifts, (which are done, thank god!) I had to help my dad remove, and then put back, 2 toilets in my parents house. Not my idea of fun evenings when I all I want to do is...

Nothing.

That' s right, I'm so emotionally, physically and mentally drained I just want to lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling. For a good solid day.
But I can't. I have to start my regular work week tomorrow and deal with the potential problem of 'A' making things weird. I mean, I know I'm good with things as we are now, as friends, but I don't think she's going to "get it" for another week or so.

I just have to buckle down and get through these four 12 hour shifts. As difficult as that might be.

Doing nothing is all I want from life. Just nothing for a day.

Too many things.

PS - I don't blame anybody for not reading my blog anymore. All I have to offer the world are a collection of whining, "oh poor me" posts. Maybe come back in a few weeks. Things might be more cheerful around that time.

Love Stinks

...Yeah, Yeah.

Everybody knows it's true...

I'd just like to extend a huge, sincere THANKS to everybody for helping me out with their words of wisdom for fixing my problem. It's nice to have people help when they're looking in from the outside. It's easier to help when it's not happening to you.

Things are in the midst of being sorted right now. 'A' and I are finding a middle ground where we can just be friends and not be in a serious relationship together. I guess you could call it a technical breakup. Things won't be uncomfortable at work, but we won't be together either.
She has not totally accepted that the romance is over between us, but she knows the truth of the matter. She just needs a little bit more convincing.

I'll always be her friend, but only her friend.

Lowered Expectations

I had an... interesting saturday night.

It was TGP's birthday party, and most of her friends were going to a club. I had to work all day, so I was going to be late to the party. I had asked my girlfriend, if you can call her that, to drive in order that I might be able to have a few drinks. She agreed and told me she'd pick me up around 8-ish so that we might be able to get there late, but early enough to avoid the line.

Now, I'm accustomed to waiting for her. She says she'll be an hour but I know that this isn't necessarily what she means. She says an hour, but I end up waiting for nearly two. Nearly every time. I waited the customary 2 hours and wondered why she wasn't showing up yet. I had to call her and find out what the situation was.
Me: Hey what's up? Why haven't you left yet?
Her: I don't know.
Me: What do you mean? Did you not find an outfit? Do you need more time for your hair? What?
Her: I don't know. I'm just being stupid I guess.
At this point I can tell something is wrong, so I try and let her off the hook by saying that I could drive myself. Thus giving her the excuse to miss out on MY friend's birthday and not have any guilt. I just wanted to get going. She said that she'd be at my house soon, that she was leaving her place and that we'd go.
On the way to the club she tells me that the reason she was an hour late was because she was having a panic attack. Now, this is not something new for her. But it's been a year since she had one so I thought she had gotten control of it. Apparently not.
Being the attentive and concerned boyfriend that I am, I ask why. There's always a reason behind the panic attacks. She goes on a tirade about work related issues, and how things are somehow my fault, and that she doesn't really feel very good about going tonight because she won't know anyone there, even though she's met TGP before. We get into a stupid argument, with me all the while trying to calm her down. But she insults me, and I tell her to never call me that again. She then tells me that she's just going to drop me off, and to call her to come pick me up later.
Yeah right. So I get dropped off and she eventually finds her way back home, upset. We had travelled 30mins away from where we live, but she had never come this far before, and had gotten lost because she didn't know the difference between West and East on the highway.

The night itself was pretty much fun for me. I had a beer bought for me courtesy of the lyric finding contest on cranberry's blog. And because I was overtired from waking up early for work, I was a cheap drunk.

Here's my new drama though. TGP has this friend, lets call her K, who is totally cool. But totally shy. So I don't really know too much about her, except that I like what I see. TGP keeps egging me on, saying that there's fireworks and that I should go for it because this girl is solid. (Not like my current girlfriend, if you can call her that, who dropped me off at a club and stranded me.) See, I like this girl, but she only opens up when she's drunk, and it's hard to talk to someone when they're drunk because things get all muddled up. Not only that, but I'm in a relationship, albeit an unhealthy relationship, but I have to exit before I enter a new one. That's if this girl even likes what she sees, which I don't even know.
Here's the kicker, I work with my current girlfriend. We make batteries together. If I break it off with her I'll still have to see her every day at work and everyone knows that when you break up with someone the last thing you want to do is see them all the time.

My options?
Quit my job and break up with current girlfriend, pursue TGP's friend K, find a new job and get on with my life. Potentially making myself happier in the process.
OR
Keep my job, and relationship, which is going nowhere fast, and stay unhappy.

I know, the answer is obvious, but it scares me to death.

...sigh

Every post I've tried to start in the last half hour have all been sad and depressing.

Intstead, I'm going to stop thinking about how much fun everyone is having on their Friday night and go to bed. I like bed.

Good things usually happen there.

But not to me!

HAHA!

Canadian Bulletin

HOCKEY'S BACK!

The NHL is back in full swing ladies and gentlemen. Every single team in the league played last night, some teams won, some teams lost, (Hmph I missed LOST tonight!). But most importantly, the Canucks beat the Coyotes 3 to 2. Go Canucks Go. Take that Gretzky! The Canucks will not be your first win as Coyotes head coach. You'll have to try again in some other city with a sucky hockey team. Vancouver is just too good for you.

So, on an unrelated note, how was LOST? Like I mentioned earlier, I missed LOST to watch hockey. I have priorities people!

Rant ON!

Being Team Leader at work isn't all it's cracked up to be.

I have to lead a team of people where half of them have little to no idea what they're doing and the other half try to tell me how to lead. It's very frustrating.
I share Team Leader responsibility with this other guy, we switch every two weeks, but when I'm Team Leader he doesn't seem to want to help as much as when he's Team Leader. Nitpicky, but frustrating.
Our battery making team is always 4 people short. We always have people in on overtime, these people are always telling me "well my TL organizes breaks this way so I'm going to do it that way too". Aargh! You signed up to come and work on my team and tell me you're not going to listen to me? Frustrating! I shouldn't have to convince these people to "work with me", they should just "work with me" anyways.
It's just not worth the little bit of extra money I receive to be dumped on by what other people believe should be happening. Everybody's such a goddamn expert, but nobody is willing to do the job themselves. A lot of people talk big, but if they were in charge I wonder how many people would listen to them? You don't get much respect just ordering people around. You get resentment. Which, I'm pretty sure people have for me anyways because I get second-guessed by certain co-workers on an hourly basis.
It's hard enough as it is to organize things with 4 fewer people than we should have. And having newer operators who need someone with more than 3 months experience to help them troubleshoot the machines all the time isn't always easy. It's time consuming.

I just wish we had enough people that there wasn't anyone making annoying comments on how they think things should be done when we're short operators. And I wish all the trainees would learn the job faster, but we operate complicated machines, so that's a pipe dream.

Rant OFF.

Okay, that's out my system now. One more week of this Team Leader business and I can go back to being a regular operator. It's gotten to the point that I signed up for overtime so I could do my regular job without any complications. I haven't signed up for OT in 2 years! Talk about desperate.

I need a hug.

"No TV and no beer make Homer something something"

I love the following TV shows, in no particular order:

Justice League Unlimited
Batman TAS
Superman TAS
Samurai Jack
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Arrested Development
Lost
Fraggle Rock
The Muppets
Muppet Babies
Family Guy
The Simpson's
Futurama
Home Movies
Transformers
Reboot
Invader Zim
He-man
Undeclared
Star Wars Clone Wars
Ewoks
Gummi Bears
Wuzzles

That's all I can think of right now. I'm sure there is more out there that I'm forgetting, but for now, this is the Ultimate List. Some of those shows aren't around anymore, but I wish they were, because I miss them so.

I have a very uninteresting life. All I can think of to do to kill time is watch TV until something happens. Can anyone recommend any good books? I need to unplug.